Megan asked the following concerns in 1 of our telephone sessions: More than and more than, when Im actually attracted to a man and I sleep with him relatively early in the connection, I find out that he is not excellent husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong type of males?
This is a frequent query from my single women customers.
Megan, numerous males know how to project sexual power in a way that arouses women. These males define their worth by their sexuality and by their potential to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a lady ? its an energy that they are putting out that goes appropriate into your genitals and tends to make you think that a thing real and critical is taking place. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy.
So what must I be performing when I really feel that potent sexual attraction?
You need to have to be telling oneself that this feeling doesnt mean something that its just an energy that is becoming projected onto you but has absolutely nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. True, extended-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon very first meeting an individual, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a true relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a connection, even if you are really attracted.
Well, when do you have sex?
When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust every other and really care about each and every other individuals wellbeing. When you know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait till there is a commitment to the connection and to studying and developing with each other? How typically have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then had the partnership not work out?
A lot more frequently than Im willing to admit. This is what keeps taking place. So are you saying that I must also go out with men that Im not right away attracted to?
Yes, if you like them. Frequently, sexual attraction grows as you truly get to know a particular person. A lot of of my customers with the very best relationships are people who were not right away attracted to each and every other. The attraction grew as they fell in enjoy with each other. Others, who were attracted instantly, lost their attraction as they got to know the individual.
A lot of guys can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. But a lot of girls feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when the relationship doesnt operate out. It is unloving to oneself to sleep with a man early in the connection and then run the danger of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.
Yet another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is usually disappointing for both people. When you have sex also early in a connection, it could not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of adore, it usually feels empty, and then the guy could determine that you are not the proper person for him due to the fact there were no fireworks. However if you had waited for love to develop, it might have been great. You truly have nothing at all to lose by waiting.
But, replied Megan, I often feel that a man wont like me if I dont have sex with him.
Properly, if you doesnt like you for not obtaining sex with him, what does this tell you about him?
I guess it tells me that he is not great husband material.
Proper! So you have absolutely nothing to shed by not getting sex right away.
Okay, I see that now. I see that what Ive been carrying out is never ever going to lead to marriage. Im going to put sex on the back burner and spend far more attention to caring and intimacy.
Megan fully changed her pattern with males and within a year she was engaged to be married.
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Source: http://toothwax.com/sexual-attraction-addiction-or-intimacy/
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